Barking

.F. our faithful doggy often barks at nasty scary animals on the TV*. Today we switched on the TV and the first thing that appeared was Gillian McKeith. .F. went barking bonkers. I always knew he had good taste.

* like kittens or frogs.

The Great Cushion Invasion

Since Life On Mars ended (what a great show that was), we seemed to have stopped watching TV. We only watched Desperate Housewives, Doctor Who and Have I Got News For You in a week: roughly 2.5 hours of TV. Then last night the big slop happened. The sofa grabbed our arses and held us there, hypnotising us with house-improvement programs before those Wisteria Lane gals returned. After that the comforting cushions stopped us rising, and we had to giggle at Harry Hill (what are the chances of that happening?) Three hours of TV in one night, more than the previous week put together. Something was making us lazy.

I blame those cushions. There are 10 on the sofa. Why do we need 10 cushions on one sofa! Even T. threw a couple on the floor at one point and she loves a good cushion. There are cushions in the bedroom, cushions in the kitchen, cushions in the outhouse! I mean I do like a good cushion to rest my tired back upon, but soft furnishings are taking over. I guess they must be breeding, and I ought to divide them up, but how do you sex a cushion? Or do they just split like amoebas do?

Ha! that's it, they drain our energy while we are watching TV and use it to perform their dance of mitosis. At their current rate of multiplying, our house will be full of cushions by the end of April.